Post-holiday Doldrumoid

Post-holiday Doldrumoid (as seen through a microscope.)

We’ve always known of their existence, but for the first time ever, caught in mid listless, despondency, is what experts commonly refer to as the Post-holiday Doldrumoid…in the flesh.

In fact, the official word is, we have a Doldrumoid pandemic on our hands. They are here and we must find a way to deal with them.

Some effective methods for coping with these ubiquitous yet unwelcome creatures are as follows:

1. One method is to ignore them. Doldrumoids have been known to eventually lose interest in their host and reluctantly disappear after a week or two.

2. Another method is to keep that crunchy Christmas tree up for another month, along with the exterior icicle lights and the inflatable snow globe on your lawn. Do this while ignoring the fact that the holidays are over. This method is effective in keeping the Doldrumoids at bay, but leaves the door wide open for Lackus Deselfrespectus spors to take hold.

3. There is no silver bullet, but for those of us who need to get back to business… pronto, there are some drastic measures that can be implemented. Take tree and exterior lights down, box up Christmas decorations, shove said boxes up in garage rafters, eat salad, go to the gym and then actually make that deadline for your employer/client as opposed to staring blankly at the computer monitor (close mouth, wipe drool off chin.

In the event none of the above methods prove effective, one can always hold on until February 14 when a virulent strain of Guiltus Cupidus overcomes the weakened Doldrumoids, offering minimal relief to some sufferers.

This has been an important public service announcement. Thank you.

Sketched Out