Oct 4, 2010

Tips on Surviving a Chupacabra Attack

If you ever come face to face with a Chupacabra:
1. Don't make eye contact
2. Remain motionless
3. If you are on or around a farm and being pursued, run toward the livestock. This will divert its attention away from you towards what it's really after. Goats.
4. If you are in the wilderness you are likely going to die.
5. Run towards the village, especially towards a well lit, noisy area. A pub, or tavern perhaps.
6. If you have no choice but to fight it, it is good to look for a long, but sturdy branch as the Chupacabra attacks primarily from the air. A long branch will help you to bat it while keeping your distance.
7. If at all possible, make the long branch into a torch as Chupacabras hate fire.
8. If you are cornered and are no longer left with the option to run, and the Chupacabra is approaching, you may consider beating the ground with your hands and making loud coyote sounds. This can sometimes confuse the Chupacabra and temporarily scare it away.
9. Belch or flatulate loudly. The Chupacabra's sense of smell is highly developed, yet keenly sensitive towards foul smelling gastro-intestinal aromas.


No comments: